Marsha B. Sauls, Ph.D.

Article for the Dunwoody Crier

770-668-0350 x 221 or drsauls@dunwoodyspychologists.com 

Eight Keys For Marital Success

Five long-term studies have identified eight critical categories of behavior couples who will succeed in marriage do differently than couples who will fail. John Gottman determined that assessing the ability of a couple to accomplish these behaviors enabled him to predict their marital success with 94% accuracy. Let me share them with you.

1.      Knowledge of each other’s worlds. Do you take time to learn the small details of your spouse’s life?

2.      Keep sight of the positive. When angry we underestimate the positive by 50%

3.      Turning toward.  Do you initiate small acts of caring without strings attached?

4.      We-ness.  Do you take time to plan your life together? 

5.      Softened vs Harsh Start-up.  Do you start an argument without criticism or contempt?

6.      Accepting Influence.  Do you acknowledge what your spouse may be saying is reasonable.

7.      Effective Repair.  Do you initiate “making up” easily? 

8.      Avoid Gridlock. Do you know, and can you understand and support your spouse’s basic dreams.